How Did You Get Here?

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
fanboy-enby-reborn
fanboy-enby-reborn

So, I wanted to give some advice but I'm too much of a coward to say it other places so it's going on tumblr haha.

If someone is trans and they say "I want this, personally, for me" it is not cool to say "no you don't" for any reason.

Even if you're just joking!

I know not everyone realizes how hurtful this can be so I'm just putting it into the world.

I was having a conversation today and someone said "If you get The Surgery, just don't get balls. They're so gross!"

And I just went. "I want them."

Only to have two people jump at the chance to tell me "No you don't, they're gross."

I just said "A lot of people feel that way. But I want them because it would be nice for me."

And I'm just. We were talking about bodily autonomy not ten minutes prior to this, talking about how people should have control over what they do, whether they want kids or not, etc.

Bodily autonomy and body shaming are very related issues. If you are going to tell someone "you shouldn't want this for your body, because I find it personally disgusting" then you are not an advocate for bodily autonomy.

Other reasons not to say this kind of thing to strangers include:

1) You're likely never having sex with me, so whether I have balls or not shouldn't matter to you.

2) Shaming half the population for having testicles is just fucking weird, and has made me once again acutely aware of how normalized it is to shame anyone with a penis for anything to do with their genitals.

3) Why is it so important that you feel the need to push for me to agree with you? Why does someone mentioning that they want something give you a pass to try and convince them not to? Especially as someone who claims to be pro-choice.

Also I don't care if you have balls or not. You are not the one who gets to tell me what I do or do not want.

aspiringwarriorlibrarian
lauraannegilman

TV Executives: “if the strike goes in, you won’t get new episodes of your favorite shows! You won’t get new movies you were looking forward to! Isn’t that terrible, what the writers are doing to you?”


Me: Bitch, that might have been an effective threat in 2007, but we have since survived a Covid shutdown and discovered ways to amuse ourselves while we waited, we can outwait this shit, too. I got a pile of shows saved I haven’t even watched yet, and a Mt. TBR waiting for me.

Compensate (and respect) your writers for their work, assholes.

aspiringwarriorlibrarian

It's just hilarious that they're trying to pull this whole "but your favorite shows!" nonsense.

Oh, you mean the shows you cancel after the third season no matter how good they're doing to avoid paying writers residuals? The shows that get produced and then never aired because you found a nice tax writeoff? The shows whose writing suffers because the writers' room got six weeks to write before getting booted and making the showrunner adapt all their scripts? The shows you straight up pulled from your streaming service to scam their crews out of rewatch money?

I will happily sacrifice my shows for the writers that gave them to me, no questions needed, but if anyone tries to say that the blatantly terrible way streaming treats its writers is somehow beneficial to shows, remind them of Infinity Train and Batgirl. That's the ideal they're pushing towards if someone doesn't say no, and we should be thankful that the writers are doing that for us.

pastell-nerd

Asexual labels explained using cereal

yellowfang89

You are in a kitchen, opening a pantry door. It contains every brand of cereal in existence.

Libido- How hungry you are

Sexual Attraction- How appealing each cereal is to you

Sex-Repulsed- The mere act of eating cereal disturbs you. You flee the kitchen to watch Netflix instead.

Sex-Indifferent- Someone brings you a bowl of cereal. Even though you don’t crave cereal, you decide to eat some anyway. Maybe because you want the person to feel happy you’re eating something they provided you. Maybe you’re just that hungry. Regardless, you’re fine with eating it since it’s already there. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t care either.

Sex-favorable- Though you don’t particularly crave cereal, the act of eating cereal is enjoyable. So enjoyable, you go through the trouble of picking a brand to eat.

Asexual with low/no libido- You are rarely hungry, and none of the cereal appeals to you.

Asexual with average/high libido- You are often hungry, but none of the cereal appeals to you.

Aegosexual-  Eating cereal sounds fun in theory but not in practice. You certainly have no interest in eating cereal yourself. You’d rather fantasize about other people eating cereal, thankyouverymuch. 

Gray Asexual- You only like Lucky Charms and Apple Jacks. And maybe Fruity Pebbles but you’re not quite sure.

Demisexual- You see a box of Trix. You are familiar with the rabbit on the box, due to the commercials you’ve seen. You always sympathized with the rabbit for never getting any Trix. There are things in life you’ve wanted but have never gotten. You feel a bond with the rabbit. Suddenly that box of Trix looks tasty.

Fraysexual- You see a box of Cocoa Puffs. You have never heard of Cocoa Puffs in your life. But something about it is oh-so-appealing. You pour yourself a bowl. As you start to eat, you catch a commercial for Cocoa Puffs on TV. You now know what the mascot on the box is like. You lose interest in Cocoa Puffs for reasons you cannot explain.

Lithosexual- You notice a box of Fruit Loops. You feel an urge to eat it. Toucan Sam comes to life and asks you to eat them. This makes you uncomfortable, so you leave to watch Netflix with the sex-repulsed ace.

Reciprosexual- You have no interest in any of the cereal. Not even that box of Frosted Flakes. But Tony the Tiger shows up wanting you to eat the Frosted Flakes. Now that he wants you to eat Frosted Flakes, you want to eat Frosted Flakes. 

Cupiosexual- You want to eat cereal, but none of the cereal looks appealing. Maybe if you grab that box of Corn Flakes, it’ll become appealing to you later? It’s happened to other people. You consider grabbing that box of Corn Flakes, just in case.

Orchidsexual- Some of the cereal looks appealing, but you have no interest in eating cereal.

Aceflux- None of the cereal looks good, so you close the pantry. A few days later, you decide to open the pantry again. Now, some of those brands look appetizing. You check the pantry again the next day. None of the cereal looks good anymore.

Quoisexual- You have no idea if you like a cereal because you want to eat it, or if you just think the box art is pretty. Does liking the box art count as wanting to eat it? Do you just like the mascot? Does liking the mascot count as wanting to eat the cereal? After reading everything I’ve written, you are still confused. You bang your head against the pantry in frustration.

kevin-day-is-bi

Ok I’m adding to this not as a continuation of the point but to thank OP cause this made me look up a label and discover it fit me better than anything I had used before. So thank you so much for waking up and deciding to use cereal as an explanation cause I’m grinning so widely at finding the term ‘aegosexual’

spirit-of-science

This is a good post, thank you so much OP

That said, I wanted to give it a go of describing other sexualities for comparison and demi/lith/Frey/recipro with cereal, not they’re mascots, like the others

Heterosexual: you only enjoy wheat-based cereals. This doesn’t mean that you enjoy every wheaty cereal, just that if you do like a cereal, it’s gonna be a wheat one.

Homosexual: same as above, but you only enjoy puff-rice cereal.

Bi/pan/etc: You like cereal of more than one grain type or don’t care what grain it’s made of. This has nothing to do with how hungry you are or how many bowls of cereal you’d like to eat. You wish people would stop assuming you’re hungrier than average just because you like a wide variety of cereals!

Demi: you don’t want to eat Trix, but you see the box every day. You see what trix looks like, smells like, sounds like. After a long time, when you’ve grown very familiar with trix, you find that you do, actually, want to eat it.

Fray: You like eating coco puffs. You get a box and enjoy the first bowl immensely. But you see the box on the shelf every day, and over time that familiarity makes it unappealing.

Lith: eating coco puffs sounds so good. You fantasize about eating cocoa puffs and enjoy that a lot. But when you actually get a box of cocoa puffs, the idea of eating it is abruptly unappealing.

Recipro: You don’t want to eat any kind of cereal when you don’t have any, but just having a type of cereal available makes that one kind of cereal sound delicious.

Bonus:

Polyamorous: you want to eat more than one type of cereal. No matter how much you love a cereal, there’s no reason that means you should never eat anything else. Eating corn flakes one day doesn’t mean that you don’t love trixs

ayyyyysexual
synthient

crazy that in the 1970s they were like, "fine, women can play sports. but because they're innately less athletic than men, only in a special ghettoized League For The Frail And Delicate where they get paid less 😊". And not only is that still the system in 2023, but viciously lashing out at the smallest challenges to that system gets framed as Feminist Praxis

synthient

even setting aside the fact that gendered bodytype averages aren't universals, and plenty of individual (cis) women and (cis) men could easily go to toe to toe. have we considered that the fact that all the most prominent and well-paid sports are ones that require things like Being Tall and Having Muscle Mass, as opposed to, ex, gymnastics...is itself an artifact of sexism

beemovieerotica

also to people who are like "well do you think WOMEN should be playing AMERICAN FOOTBALL against MEN" actually I don't think anyone should be playing american football on account of, you know, the irreversible brain damage.

nicework-bonedaddy
nicework-bonedaddy

When Americans joke about 9/11, we aren't joking about the real people that died that day. We're joking about the fact that America treats 9/11 like the most tragic act of terrorism that's happened in the United States while they continue to commit their own acts of terrorism on their own people & the rest of the world. To them, there is nothing wrong with the millions they've killed in other countries, the thousands of children killed in school shootings, the millions of deaths caused by poverty, rampant murder & violence from the police, or any kind of state-sanctioned violence, yet we must continue to endlessly mourn for the 2,996 that died on 9/11. They take everyone else's lives as a joke. It's a play on their own intentions. Don't come at us with that "but people died!!!" bullshit.

trans-march
tikkunolamorgtfo

Conservatives will be like “Why are you holding me accountable for my bigoted beliefs? Whatever happened to tolerance???”

elfwreck

The response to that is Tolerance Is Not a Moral Precept - it is a peace treaty. It is a contract of cooperation, or at least, of non-interference.

the model of a peace treaty differs from the model of a moral precept in one simple way: the protection of a peace treaty only extends to those willing to abide by its terms. It is an agreement to live in peace, not an agreement to be peaceful no matter the conduct of others. A peace treaty is not a suicide pact.

(Bold added)

Someone who’s actively trying to oppress, belittle, exclude, or harm people based on their identities is not complying with the contract, so there’s no reason to extend its protection to them.

zenosanalytic

Another(etymological cuz Im Me :p) way to say this: “Civility” doesn’t mean “nice”, it means “the way of citizens”. Citizens live together, and if someone decides they’re too good for “living together” then, well, they can live apart, forcibly shunned and exiled from the “civil” society they hate so much, until they decide different.